Comparisons happen from the time we are born. Babies are measured in accordance to standardized percentiles for height, weight and head circumference. Every measurement is a milestone. We continue these comparisons when kids go to school; measuring them against each other educationally. Assignments on sports teams always have the result of success defined as a measurement. The winners always have the bigger numbers. Socially, the girls always like the older (bigger) boys. There is a fascination with big trucks, bigger and faster cars.
OF COURSE we are going to include sexuality into the metrics of measurement. A woman is measured by the size of her breasts and men are measured by their height and size of their penis. They are simply the most obvious appendages to use when speaking in terms of something that is quantitatively measurable. You measure wealth and social status. It’s what we do as humans. It’s what we do as sentient animals.
A short man can make up for his lack of height by implying he has a large penis. A man with a large penis can have economic and societal short comings and still be considered an attractive sexual partner. A man with a small penis does not have the same luxury of simply being a man. He is being judged on his penis size, once it becomes known to others. He learns from a very young age to hide it if he is small, if at all possible or to make excuses for it’s diminutive size, if or when he can’t. It’s cold, he’s shy, he’s a grower not a shower.
He learns about sexual rejection from his awkward, early sexual experiences or he learns to avoid having them at all costs, even though he has a strong, young libido. Girls may be attracted to him, especially if he is tall and has good looks, which places him in a horrible position of risking an involvement with her and exposing his short comings exposed to their social circle. He may try to reject his normal sexual interest of the opposite sex because of this fear and have the seeming lack of interest be misunderstood as an admission to an attraction to the opposite sex. He learns to walk a fine line from a young age or he retreats in anger at his inability to balance it.
Many times, boys who have a small penis will gravitate towards heavy sports involvement, simply to avoid the interaction with girls who can be exceptionally cruel. This way they can use sports to hyper focus on and as an excuse to avoid excessive contact with the girls they are attracted to, but don’t trust that they will keep their small secret. Yet this sports interest also comes with risk of exposure because of the Male locker room; a place where nudity is expected and mandated as part of the sports ritual of sweating together and showering together. Up until now, a boy may have noticed his penis was smaller than other boys, but would have assumed it would grow once he entered puberty.
A boy may have been able to hide his diminutive penis size from girls up until the middle or end of puberty, but at this point, other boys are going to find out. Of course, the jokes about being a ‘show’er’ or being a ‘grower’ start when bawdy, teasing comments are made between them. Because boys will make the comments, as they always have and always will, as they are competitive and will compare cock size as well as height and muscle mass. It is normal for those who are well endowed to proudly strut naked from shower to lockers so the full frontal view is available to all to see, leaving no doubt to anyone who looks, that he has a big, swinging cock. It gives them a competitive edge, even if only psychological.
When boys share locker room information, when they suggest cock size to their girlfriends or when joking around in public areas, unless a boy has a champion to advocate for the normality of his penis size, for the proof that he is a grower, then the rumours spread about how small his penis is. Even if he is tall and good looking, the knowledge that his penis is small can be debilitating to his social position.
Yet males with a larger penis, don’t have to be as tall, don’t have to be as good looking, don’t have to have as much money or have the nice car. They can get a free pass on almost everything simply because they have a big cock, even if others never see it; implying it is enough. This disparity in penis measurement can create humility, frustration, discouragement and extreme embarrassment in a man who has a small penis. Many strive to better himself in any way he can, so that he can even the playing field and make himself more attractive to women, so that he has hopes of keeping her interest, even after she discovers he is poorly endowed.
This never happens to a man who has a big cock. He can be short, unattractive, make far less money, have fewer opportunities for career advancement and it doesn’t bother him. Not on the scale it bothers a man with a small penis, to be in possession of one. A man who is well endowed sees himself as sexually superior, therefore superior in all ways, to a man with a small penis and as such does not feel the need to overcome any of his other short falls. It’s an attitude that inexperienced women believe and support until evidence proves otherwise.
By the time women learn that if a man has a big dick and IS a big dick , then he is simply not worth the investment in time, emotions or resources as a partner. Women don’t need a big dick if it is attached to one. We would rather have a kinder man, a more sexually equal partner, one who is thoughtful and attentive, than a man who is well endowed. His Penis size becomes less important when he has other factors that make up for his small penis. And yes, I said ‘make up’. Because the reality is that size DOES matter. Men will be compared to past, recent and future lovers. If a mans penis is smaller, then his sexual mastery has better be at LEAST on par with other men, if not superior to them. There is no excuse for his poor performance, other than his laziness.
The single thing that a man who has a small penis can NOT do, is ignore it. It’s important he accept his size and limited abilities as well as acknowledge his sexual strengths. It matters not just to the sexual relationship with a partner, but with the relationship dynamics in it’s entirety. Pretending that it is not a potential issue, is tantamount to ignoring deafness or blindness. If you don’t discuss how things need to compensate and adjust to the reality of the situation and experiences, then how can you honestly meet the other persons needs?
Communication is the only thing that works makes a successful relationship. Honestly knowing what arouses you and attracts you to other people, then sharing it with your partner, means you are investing in them and placing your trust them. This builds a foundation that a relationship can be built on. Understanding that everything is measurable and quantifiable ensures that the sense of anger about being judged is removed sooner rather than later.
If your partner is with you, knowing you have a small penis, they made a conscious choice to be there. Why not accept the fact that they are open to discussing your sexual needs and want to trust you enough to share what they want or need, with you. Penis size is only 1 thing a woman measures when she decides to partner with someone. It is not the sole factor in making her decision and it should not be treated as the single thing ruining a sexual partnership when a couple runs into problems.
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